


Sass with a bit of Badassy

by gHost_In



Series: Parenting Adventures [1]
Category: Corpse Husband - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Child, Corpse Husband - Freeform, Corpse Husband taking care of a child, Corpse as a Dad, Fluff, Other, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28477713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gHost_In/pseuds/gHost_In
Summary: In the 4 years he started taking care of baby Noah, Corpse really shouldn’t be surprised when he sees the baby’s other side when their neighbor decides to show up with police officers.
Series: Parenting Adventures [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085924
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Sass with a bit of Badassy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Copy and Paste](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22519228) by [Eleana_Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleana_Lee/pseuds/Eleana_Lee). 



> I am a 100% unsure how toddlers or babies mind works even though I’ve been a baby once but I’ve been trying to look for Corpse with children after watching a YouTube video about Corpse taking care of a child if he ever has one and I just really really want to read one, and since I couldn’t find any corpse with babies books or scenarios, I had taken it as a chance for me to satiate my wants. Also, I have no idea how these things work like paperwork and adoption and uh...please bare with me as I altered a few info from the internet and some I figured may fit on this universe so if there were things that are uncharacteristically corpse or whatnot I just want to say that I apologize but as stated everything is purely fictional.
> 
> Everything in this universe is all 100% fiction which means they are all not real and that I am just trying to feed my hungry weak ass imagination.

A ring from the door made Corpse stand up leaving Noah to color by himself. The curious child stood up as well, silently following behind his father figure wondering who decided to visit their humble abode and wreak havoc.

Opening the door, they both saw their neighbor Mrs. Thompson and 2 police officers.

The last time that Corpse had seen police officers was when they had given him Noah. 

For some unknown reasons, Noah’s mother left the baby in Corpse’ care, who was a stranger. 

The baby and Corpse had to stay in the station and talk about Corpse’ options on having to give the child up for adoption or accepting the mother’s request of taking care of Noah. They had given him a day to choose while they tended to the baby's needs. 

Rereading the letter from the mother, Corpse anxiously stood up and was about to leave and tell the officers to put the child up for adoption as he cannot take care of himself, let alone a child. 

When he caught sight of the child who was peacefully sleeping in the basket that his mother left him in, unbothered by the noises and oblivious to the fact that he was left by his only family. 

He looked sadly at the child as a heavy feeling began to settle on his chest.

Though he knew that what he was about to do was out of emotions, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling sorry for the child to feel abandoned at such a young age and that he didn’t want him to experience it.

With a newfound determination, Corpse had agreed to take care of the child and had signed the paperwork that was stapled with the letter and had to agree to have his apartment checked out to see if it was safe for the child to live in.  
He had to make sure that the child wouldn’t experience the same thing as he did. 

“Good afternoon, what can I do for you?” Corpse had asked.

The woman, Mrs. Thompson, had sneered and crossed her arms.

“Good afternoon Sir, we had received a call about a suspicious activity-” the police started but was cut off by the elderly woman.

“Well, I am here with these two lovely officers as I am concerned for the well-being of the child living with you,” she started leaving Corpse confused, but had slowly understood what was going on.

“I had called in the station because I have a suspicion of something going on in your apartment and I didn’t want the child to live in such an environment, I mean who would? We don’t even know what your profession is,” she laughs. 

“So, if you’ll excuse us. The officers would like to check if you’re hiding something...illegal.” she added.

Noah, noticing that his father figure was spiraling into those very dark thoughts that he often sees when his papa tries to hide it from him. He immediately went in front of their door stopping them from entering.

“Excuse me sir and Mrs. Thompson?” Noah looked up with his doe eyes grabbing Corpse’s attention as well.

“What is it young man?” one of the police officers asked. 

“I just want to ask why you want to enter my papa’s home?” Noah asked. 

Mrs. Thompson and her filthy attitude crouched down and talked with her nasally annoying pitch. “Well you see sweetie, your “papa” seems to be hiding something inside your house as he is always staying home and we wanted to see if what he’s hiding is safe for you.”

Noah, misunderstanding the situation immediately went to make sure that his papa’s secret powers were not found so he did what he knew would help his papa right now. 

“I see Mrs. Thompson. But don’t you think that you’re tres-tree passing...trespassing in our home?” Noah started. Leaving the woman confused and shocked with the child’s choice of words. 

“You didn’t ask papa per-perm-persimmon if you are allowed to go inside and that’s bad! Also, if papa didn’t tell you why he is always home then that means you don’t need to know. Thank you for your...concern Mrs. Thompson but Noah thinks that you should use your concern elsewhere, like...saving bees!” Noah smiled. Leaving the adults on the door frozen in shock.

Standing up, Mrs. Thompson immediately pointed towards Corpse. “Did you see that, officers? That man is improperly teaching this child! He’s bad for this child! We must take action immediately!”

Corpse was about to disagree when Noah once again talked as if he had to stand up for his father. 

“No. My papa is not bad. He makes sure Noah eats his veggies, and that Noah brush teeth after snack time and before Noah has to nap because papa doesn’t want Noah to have ouchies! Papa also gives Noah stars when Noah does something good because Noah good boy! Mrs. Thompson is bad!” Noah states making Mrs. Thompson frown.

“Mr. Police? Is it alright if my papa asks for your names and calls the police station to make sure you’re not one of the bad guys? My papa taught me not to trust strangers and that Noah has to call 911 if a stranger knocks on our door.” Noah asked shocking Corpse that he had managed to remember that.

Smiling, one of the police officers crouched down and agreed to Noah’s conditions. “Sure buddy, we can do that. Want to call them instead?” 

Noah looks up at Corpse before asking. “Papa, can I call 911?”

“Sure little guy, I think we can do that” Corpse agreed after some thought.

The police officer gave their walkie talkie to Noah after talking to the operator on the other side. 

“Just press here and then you can ask them a question, let go of it after okay?” The officer instructed. 

Nodding, Noah immediately sat down on the floor and talked to the operator.

“Hello Mr. 911? I want to ask if Mr. Hampton and Mr. David is one of Mr. 911’s friends? They’re at Noah’s house right now along with a bad person who is Mrs. Thompson” he said.

“Hello Noah, I can assure you that Mr. Hampton and Mr. David are indeed one of my friends. What seems to be the problem?” The operator asked. 

“Well you see Mr. 911, Mrs. Thompson wants to go inside papa and Noah’s house but papa didn’t give them per..persimmon to enter Noah’s house!” Noah tattled with a shake of his head.

“It’s permission Noah not persimmon” Corpse corrected quietly.

“Same thing papa, anyways Mrs. Thompson also said that papa is hiding something that is bad for Noah but Noah knows that Mrs. Thompson just wants to enter Noah’s home because she’s bad!” Noah answered. 

Mrs. Thompson tried to disagree with the statement but one look from Corpse was enough for her to huff and shut up.

“I see, so what do you think we should do Noah?” The operator asked Noah, leaving the child to think for a few seconds.

“Mr. 911, Noah and Papa watched this movie and the officers in the movie have papers and..and they said something about a.” Noah paused and looked at Corpse for help. 

“Search Warrant” Corpse answers softly. Amazed at the fact that the child still remembers those things.

“Yes a swearch warrant, papa explained that misters need those because that means that Mr. Hampton and Mr. David received persimmon from Mr. 911 but they didn’t have those so they can’t enter Noah’s house.” Noah continued nodding to himself.

“You’re such a smart kid Noah, Mr. 911 will give his friend those papers the next time they come back okay?” The operator promised.

“Thank you Mr. 911.” Noah thanked and handed the walkie talkie back to the officer, standing up and clutching onto Corpse’s pants. 

Mrs. Thompson was then guided away from the door by one of the officers while Officer David talked to Corpse.

“We’re sorry about that Sir, the woman reported that there might be abuse happening in your household so we immediately rushed here. But after seeing what happened and the way Noah talked about you with our operator, I think it was another one of those calls.” Officer David apologized.

“It's alright, it happens” Corpse answered gently patting Noah’s head. 

“But um...do you still need to search the house?” Corpse asked.

“Well, if it will help with dealing with Mrs. Thompson over there, we might have to do that. With your permission of course.” Officer David answers making Noah nod in approval.

“I see...Well I guess it can’t be helped. Is it alright if you don’t tell her about my work though. If that is possible…” Corpse asked, anxiously rubbing his hands.

“Of course, is it alright if we ask why?” The officer asked, a bit confused.

“Um..I can explain if you and the other guy are the ones to search the house tomorrow” Corpse replied, not wanting to be exposed to more people.

“That won’t be a problem, we can arrange that for you sir,” The officer reassured.

“I...work in the media industry? I mean kind of, but yeah..” Corpse nods.

“Oh..that explains it. Well, don’t worry sir we understand and we’ll make sure that your information will not be disclosed to the public, especially to Mrs. Thompson over there.” The officer smiled.

A few more talks and the officers took their leave and Mrs. Thompson is shut in her own apartment who was asked to mind her own business...in a nicer way.

Closing the door behind him, Corpse sighed and looked at Noah who seemed to be waiting for something. 

Smiling, Corpse ruffled Noah’s hair and pulled Noah towards him.

“Thank you little guy, you were so smart back there! How did you remember those things!” Corpse asked sitting in front of their door.

“Papa, do you even need to ask that?” Noah asked sassily, which made Corpse’ eyebrow raise.

“Papa, Mrs. Thompson with a yucky smell almost found out your secret! Noah has to make sure they don’t know you’re secretly a superhero and that Noah also has super powers!” Noah exclaimed. 

Corpse paused for a second. “What do you mean papa’s a superhero?” 

Noah sighed and stood up in front of Corpse. “Papa, you’re really bad at hiding things. Noah saw your suit in the closet and even gave Noah your magic book and Noah reads it everyday because Papa became a superhero with that book.” 

Confused, Corpse decided to ask more. “What magic book?” 

Noah sighed and stood up to run towards their small shelf and brought out a...dictionary?

“Look papa, your magical book contains squiggly words that Noah doesn’t understand.” Noah handed Corpse the book and left to continue coloring his pink dog.


End file.
